I’m not gonna spend time writing about the last two years.  It’s been hell and the best laid plans have all laid in ruin from the normal pitfalls of life but Covid-19 added horrors upon horrors to that.  Then the election, the failed coup of Jan 6th and more.  And that’s on the big scale, down on the small scale where I live, things have been far, far worse. I feel like a long dead astronaut, floating in oblivion.

1460 Days Gone By

I wrote resolutions in all these years, since 2018. Some stuck, some didn’t and the last few didn’t make it past the drafting stage. Especially the last two years. Maybe because with the world ending, it didn’t matter much, but it taught me something important. Cancer, Covid and Coups. It taught me life is much shorter than any of us thinks and that we only get one shot.

And I only have one life.

Now Day One

Its something that’s been in me, always in me since I was very young. That’s who I am, so a better way of me existing has to take over and I need to start living this life for me, not for what the world wants me to be. And that begins with this an admission, overcoming my own hang ups and a small sticker. A small sticker that’ll remake me.

But its so much more than that, relearning, unlearning and taking care of myself in a way that’s totally alien to me too. And for the most part, I’ll have to walk the path alone.

The sticker (or pill) will play the most important role in remaking me. Every few days I’ll discard one and replace it with another as it replaces nearly 40 years of who I pretended to be with who I am really. Most likely it’ll be two or three things I’ll take for the rest of my life, but over the next few years it’ll do its magic and shift my body back into a state of change, with all the good, the bad and awkward strangeness that comes with with it.

I don’t think I was ever a kid to be playing with stickers, I think mainly because I saw them as valuble when I had them and would get in trouble if I put it on the wrong things. I was never the gold star winning kid either — but this sticker will be way better than any sticker I ever had and I’ll be happy to stick it to me every few days.

I’ll be happy to feel like me

This has been a long time coming

And it’s a huge weight off my shoulders.  The next year will be the hardest year for me, but this is the beginning of an amazing journey and I’ll find happiness again as I share the real me with the world.

And wow, the new friends I’ve begun to make, their support and encouragement and just giving me the space to talk things out has been something overdue and missing in my life. I am learning to trust the process and be patient with myself and my future. I got so much to do and I’m so grateful for all of you out there giving me kind words leading up to today. I’m excited my hopes for the future are bright, Thank you all, You’re all wonderful!

My name is Theron and I’ll Be True to the world and myself.

wow

This is day one.

One day down, one thousand years to go